5 posts tagged “scryers”

... lessen of course you can.

For those you what ain't been paying atttention, I recently switch Shattrath factions from Scrybabies to Aldorks. All so's I can get me this. Now try to keep up.

I pulled out me Retainer's Blade the other day , the dagger what you gotta be all exalted with the Scrybabies to buy. And the little bugger lets out a shriek. "Traitorous bastard!" it yells at me. "You lousy traitor!" I tell ya, I ain't used to me gear talkin', let alone slandering me good reputation. Startled, I dropped it on the ground, where it began floppin' around like a fish outta water, screaming out words so bad even I's embarrassed to repeat them. It must've overheated or something, 'cause after a bit there was smoke coming off it, and then it kinda melted. At which point it stopped floppin' and screamin'. I looked down at it and said to meself, well, there goes two hundred gold.

After that, there weren't no way I was gonna try equipping me Gauntlets of the Chosen. Muggernuggers probably woulda bit me fingers off. Straight to the vendor they went.

However, all is not lost. I still knows how to make the enchanted adamantite armor I learned from those buggers. And the enchants on me shoulders, both the tanking and the killing sets, seem to be in full force. So I guesses if you buy something and then switches out, it's a goner. But if you buy a thing what enchants yer gear or brain, then yer okay.

Oh crap! I've still got a Scrybaby tabard hanging in me closet. I better get it out of there before it spontaneously combustifies or something.

Shplort!

That's the sound of 1344 dreadfang venom sacs being dropped on the floor in front of Sha'nir, the Draineinaena what runs the Center for Refugees Too Dumb To Not Go Out in the Woods And Get Bit By Spiders. "Oh, my" she says, awe-struck by my generosities and rugged good looks. "This may take a while."

Yeah, no lie. All the sacs had to be counted and but into boxes eight at a time and labeled and dated and whatnot. I said they should just take me word for it that they was all there, but her assistant said he weren't sure orcs could count that high. Bigot.

It took near an hour, but when it were done she reported up to her bosses on the Aldor Rise what a fine upstanding citizen I was and that therefores they shouldn't attack me on sight no more. Then she tooks me into the back room and gave me a more personal welcome to the Aldor community. I found out she sounds like a chipmunk when she's real excited, and she found out once you go orc you never go ... well, whatever. You just don't.

What you say? Screen capture or it didn't happen? Fine, you mistrustful buggers. Here it is:

So here's how it happened, see. The other day I'm spending some time at the inn in Area 52 with this Dreana ... Drienai ... Drainae ... ah, bugger it. With this spacegoat chick. It's not what you think. Well, yeah, okay it was. You know, she didn't smell much like a goat, and she could do this thing with her horns ... but I digress. Point is, afterwards I was checking out her armor and I was really impressed with her Vindicator's Hauberk. I could really use one of these, I says to meself. I should go get me one.

Problem is, you gots to be in tight with the Aldorks to get one of these, and right now they hate me guts 'cause I'm all exalted-like with the Scrybabies. Ermmm. Turns out there's a pressing need for dreadfang venom sacs at the Shattrath Infirmary, what with all the careless refugees gettin' bit by them dreadfang spiders out in the woods. The Aldorks respect healin' refugees and other losers, so if you donate enough venom sacs they'll stop hating you. They still won't like you, but at least then you can go through the normal procedures of givining 'em shiny trinkets 'til they does.

How many sacs? I had to get me friend Rim to help me with the math. He's a mage and knows all that arcane fuggery. Anyhow, comes out to 1344 venom sacs, or more than 4000 spiders, cause lots of times the sac be empty by the time they dead.

Oh, crap.

That's gonna take a while, even for a killing machine like meself. But, I wants that hauberk, so I's gonna do it. If you hears the Horseman's Helm of Evil Laughter somewhere out in Terokkar Forest, that'll be me. Killin' spiders.

Turned in a big honkin' pile of Sunfury Signets with Magistrex Fyalenn in Shattrath last night. She took them and then stepped back a ways before counting them. I dunno what she thought I was gonna do - contaminate her airspace or start swinging my axe around or slip her the tongue or what. But no, I just stood there all patient like while she counted them out, checking her books, added it all up. Finally she glares up at me.

"You're one short! You have just wasted my time! Shorel'aran! Selama ashal'anore!"

Fuhggit.

So I dash off a quick note to Boy Friday in Orgrimmar - "Buy me one more bloody signet and get it to me quick."

He's well trained. Within minutes I've got another signet, courtesy of the newly improved goblin mail service. Back to the Magistrex I go.

"Fine. You are now a full member in good standing of the Scyers. You can pick up your tabard from Quartermaster Enuril. Remember the Sunwell! Bash'a no falor talah!" She looked like she'd rather have her daughter run off to a free-love commune in Mulgore than to have me in her club, but I was in nevertheless. For those of you keeping score, this was Goal and Priority Number the Three. One to go.

It ain't no big secret that Azeroth ain't got nobody in charge, but a whole bunch o' buggers what want to be. You got yourself the Horde (which has issues of its own with both the deaders and Blood Elves both waiting for an opportunity to bump off the noble and honorable orcs and trolls and tree-huggin' bovines). And then you got the Alliance fuhggers. Goblins seem to be happy being neutral, but they may just be waiting for the H and the A to mutually destruct. And then there's all the wannabes, too small to rule the world but desparately dangling baubles to try to get us to do their dirty work for them. "Go kill a freaking huge bunch of our dread enemy, the deaders/bugs/demons, for us and will deign to sell this shiny belt." Bah.

So I'm glad to get to Outland and escape all that fuhggin power play politics. Heh! Silly me. I get to Shattrath City and almost immediately I got agents from two different sets of buggers, the Aldorks and the Scrybabies, both saying I wasn't worth their notice but if I would scrape and bow and by the way bring in a sack full of the ears (or noses or foreskins) of whoever they really don't like then maybe I could be in the club anyway.

An unstable affliction on both their houses. Stupid buggers.

Although some of the stuff their offering does look pretty sweet ...