3 posts tagged “shattrath”
The other day I's in that great cosmopolitan melting-pot / cesspool Shattrath City, checkin' me mail and minding me own business. When this little gnome runs up and laughs at me. Now, I knows gnomes is an uneducated folk and generally don't speak civilized languages like orcish, so I don't waste time politely inquiring what the fuhg her problem is. Instead I just goes back to reading me mail.
And then she poked me. Hey! And laughed at me again. At this point I's thinking this little gnome is begging to be punted off the Tier and into the Lower City with the refugees and other vermin and losers. (This would be the political crisis part, 'cause they frown on that sort of thing in Shat, even on the Scryer's Tier). But just as I start to grabs for her, the light bulb goes off in me head. She wants it, I realize. She wants it bad. And I's just the orc to gives it to her.
So I throws back me head, flings out me arms, and gives it to her. "Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!" goes the Helm of Evil Laughter. The little gnome shrieks with delight, jumping up and down and cheering. Then I goes back to me mail and she goes off to do whatever it be that happy little gnomettes do.
The Lady in Red.
She's grown up a bit. Filled out in all the right places. But I recognized her instantly. There was no time for shallow, meaningless small talk. No time for pints of Dwarven Stout in the pub. I had work to do at the far end of the continent, and there was only time for our eyes to meet for an instant. But in that instant our souls touched, and I knew -
She still wanted me. She wanted me bad.
It ain't no big secret that Azeroth ain't got nobody in charge, but a whole bunch o' buggers what want to be. You got yourself the Horde (which has issues of its own with both the deaders and Blood Elves both waiting for an opportunity to bump off the noble and honorable orcs and trolls and tree-huggin' bovines). And then you got the Alliance fuhggers. Goblins seem to be happy being neutral, but they may just be waiting for the H and the A to mutually destruct. And then there's all the wannabes, too small to rule the world but desparately dangling baubles to try to get us to do their dirty work for them. "Go kill a freaking huge bunch of our dread enemy, the deaders/bugs/demons, for us and will deign to sell this shiny belt." Bah.
So I'm glad to get to Outland and escape all that fuhggin power play politics. Heh! Silly me. I get to Shattrath City and almost immediately I got agents from two different sets of buggers, the Aldorks and the Scrybabies, both saying I wasn't worth their notice but if I would scrape and bow and by the way bring in a sack full of the ears (or noses or foreskins) of whoever they really don't like then maybe I could be in the club anyway.
An unstable affliction on both their houses. Stupid buggers.
Although some of the stuff their offering does look pretty sweet ...
